Toxic Relationships

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Something that often gets overlooked but is massively linked, is the link from mental health and healthy wellbeing.

Stress is a major cause of many problems in the human body. We can eat a healthy diet but if we are suffering from stress and unhappiness this will cause health problems.

If we are stressed and unhappy then this can also lead to us binge eating, binge drinking, emotional eating and making bad food choices as we reach out for comfort food. Or.. maybe you don’t eat at all if you are feeling stressed or in a low mood.

Are you or have you been in a toxic relationship? The relationships that we have with others has a massive effect on our wellbeing. It is important for us to take responsibility for ourselves and our own happiness, and not let someone else have the power over that.

Speaking from experience I know how toxic relationships can make you feel. They are draining and can totally mess with your mind, ruin your days and cause serious lack of sleep, anxiety and upset.

Now, by all means I am definitely not a relationship expert but this article is not about that. It is about helping other people recognise signs and help them step into their own power.

Here are some signs that you are dealing with someone with a narcissistic personality.

  • They have difficulty with empathy. This is particularly hard for empaths to deal with.
  • They have a very obvious self focus in an arrogant way.
  • They are very sensitive to any insults or imagined insults and critisism.
  • There is a lack of psychological awareness.
  • They are very nice to people who admire them and massage their egos.
  • They are spiteful, nasty and rude to people who do not admire them and do not massage their egos.
  • They use people for their own needs and do not consider the consequences.
  • They are obsessed with feeling superior.
  • They are not capable of viewing things from another persons perspective.
  • They share no remorse and have bad attitudes.
  • They find it difficult to tell the truth and often shift blame on to someone else.
  • You find yourself under attack for things you haven’t said, done, thought.
  • They put you down.
  • They are extremely selfish.
  • They hide their true self in front of others with a very highly developed false self.
  • It is impossible for you to have your views or feelings heard.
  • They repeatedly break promises and obligations and show little remorse.
  • They like to impress others.. It is important to make themselves look good.
  • They expect people to do stuff for them but gestures are not returned. The world revolves around them.
  • They can be very sociable, friendly and fun when out in public.
  • They are manipulative to suit their own needs.
  • It is impossible to set boundaries.
  • They do what they want to do and if they make any minor adjustments on behalf of someone else then they feel like this a very selfless act that deserves praise.

As a mother I think it is very important to raise awareness to this kind of behaviour, as for many going through this it becomes their normal. Living an every day life like this, what is right can be lost as we become more ‘climatized’ to bad behaviour. Low self esteem, questioning ourselves and being lied to all lead to a certain trapped feeling.

You will never win an argument with a narcissist as they are arguing with themselves.

You do not have to live a life by someone else’s messed up mindset. Their mistakes are not yours. We are responsible for our own choices.

We can choose what we eat. We can choose what we do daily. We can choose what we wear. And we can also choose who we let in to our lives.. not everyone deserves the pass. We can choose happiness. But, this is important.. You will not achieve happiness with a narcissist. Here we need to take the steps to achieving our own happiness and that is by believing you are worthy. Believing that you deserve the life of your dreams and accepting that sometimes that means walking away and accepting yourself for who you are and not who or how someone else makes you feel.

It is ok to distance yourself from people that bring you down.

Our souls need feeding. Yes healthy food nourishes us and better food choices help our bodies function to better capability.. But our minds need nourishing too. We need to find our own harmony. Constant struggle and stress, exhausting yourself mentally does not help you live in harmony with yourself and the energies that make us.

Another important factor to this is that you do not have to be an angel or a pushover when in a toxic relationship. In fact narcissists thrive on you giving it back because then they can twist it on to you. There is a misconception in toxic relationships that it is pushover housewives that are victims of domestic violence etc, when actually this is not true. It is part of life for us to sometimes be in disagreements with people but it is important to establish what is a disagreement/argument and what is narcissistic bullying behaviour.

Ask yourself some questions.

  • Do you constantly feel like you are not yourself?
  • Does this person make you feel like shit?
  • Are you snappy with the wrong people?
  • Do you feel drained when around that person but bubbly and energetic when not around them?
  • Are you bored of the same arguments?
  • Do you feel like you are not heard?
  • Is it hard to set boundaries?
  • Is it hard to have a truthful conversation?
  • Do you feel confused of your feelings?
  • Are you worried about what other people will think?

When having relationships whether it be sexual or not. Our relationships and daily lives become us. We are not here to be unhappy or let someone else control our emotions.

Be free.

Much love

Tanya xo

 

 

 

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